Someone said I'm nice which means a lot. I want to be grateful for mentoring from several years ago but there's been a change in the tenor. You keep learning, changing. Could've done things a little differently, better today. Get on with it quietly. You think 'is anything still catching up with me?' There'll be rebuffs. 

https://youtu.be/Wv8N6zSzL7k

Life can be brutal and ugly and I'm ready for it; when to be ruthless. You think you know someone but don't have expectations. Invert it on its head and surprise life with further facets; 'there's always more'. You are your own theme.

 Like Thomas Tuchel I'm not a yes man. Not going to toe the line; I looked at my friend in the eye and we stuck up for each other. There'll be no injustice on my watch. I am my Mum's son. Everything is falling into place; principle which is way above the company's head. I don't do a 260 mile round trip because I'm a cxxt. The last 18 months have gone well professionally. 

 Felt so much better with an after work shower. Couldn't psychologically walk. Saved money with tonight's digs. 

 My favourite hot lovers have gone- passed away. All that shall remain are the polite, life unaffirming ones.

I'm working at Stoke Newington Covid test centre. The 400 strong wedding on Friday was in..Stamford Hill, there was a 300 person rave yesterday in..Hackney. There was that scene in Point Break when they say about Patrick Swayze 'We'll see him when he gets back' from the waves and Keanu Reeves says 'He ain't coming back'.

 Leicester are the Midlands biggest club and them leading the table at the season's halfway point is no fluke; they've secured the most wins.

Finished the huge hit the Serpent. The exquisite Jenna Coleman has outgrown the cash cow Doctor Who for ventures more progressive. Liked all the cast; in real life Ajay was not seen again after 1976. I like the scene when Dominique is crying in the street.

After work travels coming back to a full food cupboard is not taking anything for granted. You don't necessarily want to watch tv for hours in the daylight but what can you do? Create content. 

 Feel so much better with a run after a 10 hr shift. A cup of tea, a shower, dinner. The warmth of the people I meet; hospitality for boarders which i may not always warrant in the bigger picture. Wish I was more independent before. 

Take it day by day; i don't need to do the job but I'm good at it. There'll be attempts to throw you in life. I'll go back home tomorrow and feel human again. Keep purging; there's been lucid dreaming.

 Sad when a project fails. Back to the base outline and fill it from there. 

 There were overtures towards the company's rival; i'm worse than Ian Beale when it comes to business. Can't be all whimsy or dreamer. I say to God let me know when you've finished. If I feel a certain way I don't have to explain it. My past experiences are traversing now in a nice way I hope. Magic has to have end product.

 When there is a tapping into the most negative energy from the Covid malaise. They're open in doing so- and makes you re- evaluate constantly. You go through things without enjoying them; you will be the last to know information.

 I walked through a snowstorm to get a work shitstorm at the end of it. This is a dream team with clearly defined roles that needs to be fully informed; I don't work with a sour taste- feel like Larry Logan in Small Axe. When the client and the people like you but the employer doesn't.

 There are diversions though like wearing a Cher mask; and watching Max the only one who can act on Eastenders. 

 Head's full of ideas, angles- feeling alright. Been watching tv ,doing some running. Walk on Friday. Want to earn from my hobbies and then I'll have a new hobby. We will overcome the steepest odds. We are love. 

Will be working in London and I'll be looking for Vietnamese food straight out of Hackney.