It's not lost or misplaced. Empty the mind. Lots of redefinitions left. Not hope but do.

I feel free; from the shackles of trying. I just want peace. Re-attune the frequency. One thing triggers another. I can do better. Quietness.

Part of me didn't want to come back from the North; or i came back too soon. Sometimes you need to get away. Time is not always your friend and before you know it you have run out of it. Dreams dredged from the past. Sometimes you are kept at a distance and not embraced; tolerated. Keep the pace blistering; creating artistry. Upgraded to first class on the train. Stay funky, starry, loving, glamorous, winning..perform. Echoes of the future. Mind expansion.

I am the light; we are the light..no place for darkness and negativity. We don't need niceness but honesty and passion. Not attention seeking drama, immaturity.

So Page 3 has gone; bowing to pressure. I feel it was outmoded and derogatory..but, is this not so good looking women deciding for the good looking ones? Censorship. In life why should glamourous women be punished? The models are bemoaning the demise; it launched careers. No one held a gun to their head; we're all adults so don't say 'you could see pain in their eyes'.

Some people just don't get the message. Denial is a river in Africa. I created monsters; self inflicted. If something was going to happen it would've.
The definition of adventure is when you don't know what's going to happen. Anything can happen; it could all change. Creativity is when something happens last minute. The unknown factor could've worked tonight..and i won't stop trying.

Restful Saturday. My dad can come back from Gatwick on Easybus for £2..
May have some Scots food tonight ahead of Burns Night.
Magic awaits. One thing leads to another.

A long 13/14 hr day; 2 jobs. Canary Wharf- West Croydon doesn't take long. Looked at the human frailties of gang members; they have honesty, brightness.
The howling wind.
Hopefully things back on track tomorrow.

Love Silent Witness. Stand up to evil; to gratification.
FIFA conspiracy; David Luiz who conceded 7 and 3 goals in the World Cup is in the Team of the Year. 'There isn't a position on the pitch for him'. Messi in his comfort zone; making a career out of stats. They don't like him in Argentina but we're supposed to. Why doesn't he come to Chelsea then?
Crisp sandwich pop up in Belfast. Student/ comfort food..crisps, bread served with chips-that's a lot of carbs.
Opening new links; do it professionally.

Did some gardening this morning; clearing leaves-therapeutic.
A shop was annoyed with me for wanting a refund.
Spoons do carafes of wine. Very professional at the Rockingham Arms, Elephant. Christmas ales still on. No BR trains south from Elephant so went through Balham; still there in good time. Under new management- we won. Imagine if we stayed up season after season. Spoons opposite Thornton Heath station was only open to regulars post match even though it was blinking empty. I'm sure this is a police order; what do they know about running pubs? The quiet night in; got back before 8.30pm saw Paddy McGuinness, some of Bond. With balance comes focus. Turning the past into the future. You think you can't do something but before you know it the job's done. Dreams do come true.

Heard the whistling wind tonight and so that stopped hermitry dead in its tracks; i wanted to go out in it. Got some dosa. Surprisingly busy out tonight. It'll be an interesting three days before Mon proper/ Twelfth Night when all the tinsel comes down but the glitter remains in our hearts. Got to have simple pleasures; not going for the biggun. I enjoyed making a Spanish quails recipe.
Last night was able to take a local bus at 4.10am. There should be night buses and night tubes. I'd earlier almost missed watching the midnight chimes on tv cos of the infrequent London Overground connection. Through the night there were beercans and dreams strewn in the urban rabbithole. The best of last year will be nothing compared to the next level of this. The sun set on 14 but it won't be forgotten. I cleared some debts when i was priming myself to not be around. If i can get through certain problems so can others. When i was offered a contract i went to the toilet and cried; 'these things don't happen to me'..tears of sadness to tears of happiness. My most emotional, happy year on the back off a rewarding film project.