The spiral

Life is life; no need to be sad. Sometimes you think 'are things going wrong?' I'm often above people's heads; misunderstood. We all want meaning, magic. I don't believe life's over.

The old cycle's breaking down and elements of our psyche and social sphere are separating and being purified for their reunion in a new mode at a higher turn of creation's spiral. 'I divide for love's sake, for the joy of union'. The energy that will move us into our new vision. This is the year to let go. Programmed minds will not work. True control will come from being, and being flexible like water. The how's and when's will be delivered by the Universe. Last year was about planting seeds; now it's very intuitive..the resonances of the heart. Love over fear. There'll be surprises, new situations, taking action. Seeing the gift within crises. Time will not be seen as linear and things will happen exponentially rapidly. The soul is always revolving. Integrating the Dark and Light or tapping into the Oneness. The heart's will is the same as the Universal will. We see a lot of things; not all of them nice. Sometimes i stare into space with glazed, plaintive yet hopeful eyes.

Worked for 8 hrs without a break today which is how i like it.

Sat 21st

You are rewarded in public for what you have intensely practiced and refined in private. Alchemise; turn adversity into something beautiful. Felt flat today; was meant to go out but couldn't face it..a comedown after Thurs and yesterday..rest today for other battles. When you see things through new eyes you see the foreground, not the background..the periphery is alright sometimes. Difficult people X your self esteem could be higher= problem. The really great make you feel that you can become great. The courage to take risks. There is a wave of love and happiness. But the demand to be loved is the greatest of all arrogant presumptions. My ex's messy, unordered mind is a shame.

Bridges

We can heal; be pitched at higher dimensions, the bridge to them has been built. We are the beautiful ones. Getting messages from the cosmos.

I may not be the strongest man, but i'm strong enough to stand up for you. What would you do if you were not afraid? Forgiving yourself dissolves the poison of resentment, which acts as a block to the Universal Reality. Because we choose a new understanding of our situation, we are now free. Your thoughts and words have physical power. My aim is to make people's lives better. I will challenge the rules. They are not absolutes.

Not afraid

Spontaneity and flakiness don't traverse axes; if someone can't do logistics it can't happen. Thanks to those who push the right buttons in me. There can be no complications, guilt, self destruction in life. Never be afraid. Take me to the battle. Ascend with grace. Dreams unlock the door to the inner world. We don't need negativity, hurt and discouragement. Onwards, upwards to the highest point. Gratitude leads to blessings. Winners never quit, quitters never win. See the opportunity in every difficulty. Difficulties vanish when faced boldly. When they are surmounted that's what makes heroes. Live your beliefs and you can turn the world around. The best way to predict the future is to create it. Hope is brightest when it dawns from fears. Everyone's trying to make a go of their life with their fears, insecurities. Do things out of love and sincerity, not grandiosement or politics.

the magic

Cooked a cockerel for dinner; quite gizzardy. It had more delayed kick than i anticipated. There's this mad shop i go to who does rabbit, barracuda..i'm not your beans on toast type of guy. I'm going to go for a Food Hygiene Certificate; the new year means more skills. We had spices laid out in a market while filming and i couldn't wait to cook. And it takes your mind off things. And a boy needs to eat.

Conscious and subconscious mind should be in sync.

The statue came to life. Henry is actually enhancing his reputation. The aura when he came on. He was in frequency with the romance of the F.A Cup. Sid Strachan was right; the emotion and the return of 'the magic' shows that away from shonky referees et al the game is beautiful. He's come back to help the club; to say thanks. The decision was.. vindicated and Wenger's reaction was a joy to behold. First i thought this would be a love in in house of no great consequence to the neutral but football burst its pantameters.. to life. I hope this comes out the right way but with his beard he was akin to the Hurricane who said 'i'll always be beautiful'. Have a sense of occasion.

Look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. Expect only the best. Be true to the best that is in you. Don't be afraid of the success you'll create. Unearthed gems.

Stay with me till the end

Did some tv work in front of an audience; i was champing..get lost in performance. The a.d gave the most wonderful, relaxed smile; he said 'go for it'. I want the people who have fallen out with me to see me on tv. Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate. Even when the skies seem the darkest, the stars continue to twinkle and shine. When you catch a falling star- hold onto it forever and never let it go. Some people leave scars and create damage. It's horrible when you are not needed in someone's life. Where all you say is misconstrued and feeds a well. When all you feel is love; and you want some part of them in your life. I don't want to offer excuses or elicit sympathy. Forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past. If i feel crap, that's fine; i will honour that feeling.. not going to manufacture synthetic good feelings. It's how you feel at a moment in time. Our personal choices make or break us. Sometimes i feel i'm on my knees; looking for one last vestige of hope. I want light in my dark recesses. Very. Sad. Face. Maybe adversity brings out creativity. Seeking a higher balance. Giving someone i like the space she needs; no demands, i'm gentle.

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Enjoying the editing; words, photos. I write an open letter to the big man upstairs and the out of office response is 'Everything is worth it. Say how you feel always. Be you, and be okay with it'. Wow that's acceptance. Through all the tests put your way the higher power's love for you is uneqivocal; you have to love yourself too or the deal's off. Cosmic heaves are heading our way..typified in tonight's gusts...gust list.

Someone today was saying as regards to the shootings and stabbings that the news merely serves to panic people; there is an obligation to report stories however 'sordid'. What one does with them is up to them but we have to be seen as adults who interpret accordingly.

Happenings

David was back on Enders and he hit Derek the scum back. He forgave his mother.
Have edge coarsing through at high speed. Bring on the 2012. I welcome it with a fully open heart. Quiet excitement. Good happenings. Dec was amazing and now it's up a rachet. There was a New Years party with Pan Am air hostesses and flight captains; sounded very cool. Loved hearing Nickelback's 'When We Stand Together' at Bento Box. The sashimi was divine; the textures. Got my dad into meditation.
Some people can keep your secrets and see your tears. Don't lose a real friend like me. Coldplay's 'Paradise' no 1 in the Singles Chart.