connecting the pain

Such a devastating blow; Anerley was our home and now neither of us are there now. We loved each other; i should do a Tony Scott..it's surreal..it's a bad dream. Our history, our memories, my best friend. I don't deserve this, it was tragic, the dream of a couple died. She thinks i don't love her; i can breathe through meditation, cardio-vascular exercise and a defibrillator. I feel widowed. I'll accept responsibility and listen to her. Need to find the right replacement; it's been too long. My friends keep me going; me, Ellie and Ian talked loudly tonight in New Cross. Reclusive day tomorrow; not going to miss out on the Paralympics, one of my final inspirations. I'll cherish my next girl.